


Caught in the Act

by DreamerInSilico



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 10:40:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19972702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamerInSilico/pseuds/DreamerInSilico
Summary: Hannibal and Will discover a new form of internet miscreantism.  Freddie Lounds has a Very Good Day.





	Caught in the Act

**Author's Note:**

> I kept seeing PSA posts about cameras in hotel rooms and this basically wrote itself. I'm sorry/you're welcome.

“You’re looking the most intense mix of amused and homicidal I think I’ve ever seen, and since I’ve seen that expression on you a _lot_ of times by now, color me concerned,” Will says dryly, leaning against the doorframe. “Do I want to know?”

Hannibal looks up from the tablet, tongue swiping at his lower lip in a measured way before he answers that means the answer is definitely _no, no you absolutely do not want to know, Will._

Which bears out a moment later. “No, but unfortunately you likely should. And we should both consider a facial hair change and a vacation somewhere it is not common to partake in anglophone social media. Perhaps Japan.” 

Will enters the study and flops into a chair nearby. “So someone actually got a decent picture of us, and it went viral?” he sighs. 

There’s another measured silence. “We should also, evidently, make a habit of taking counter-surveillance measures in future hotel stays, as cameras hidden in hotel rooms by third parties seem to have come into fashion among internet miscreants. We were actually quite lucky in this case that we only stayed in Montreal the one night.”

Horror dawns slowly as Hannibal speaks, then _all at fucking once_ when he mentions Montreal, because that had been an _excellent_ night. Or seemed so at the time.

“And that the person who originally uploaded the video to PornHub apparently lacked enough familiarity with American news to recognize us, even by name.”

Will stares at Hannibal, feeling a bubble of almost hysterical hilarity rising, and yes, his own large helping of homicidal inclinations. 

“‘Silver Fox Gets Cock Sucked, Ass Nailed By Bratty Twink,’” Hannibal quotes, in that highly enunciated, deliberate tone he reserves for other people’s vulgarity, and the hilarity bubble bursts, Will’s hands coming to his face as he finds himself trying to laugh, cough, and growl all at once. “Quite popular, even before we were recognized.”

“Oh my _god_. That - I’m going to kill - I am not a twink!” he sputters. 

“You were looking particularly lovely that night, darling, but no, I should think not.”

“Oh my god. It’s - oh _no,_ please tell me the red-headed pit viper didn’t get it first.” 

“Alas, I cannot tell you that.”

“Can we _please_ kill her, now?”

“I admit I’m entertaining the fantasy. The glee in her article is palpable, and the comments section….” He trails off, at a rare loss for words. 

“Never read the comments section,” Will mutters darkly, before reaching for the tablet to, as one does, do just that. _MURDER HUSBANDS CAUGHT IN THE ACT_ , the headline proclaims (which act, exactly, is made amply apparent with a censored screencap from the video), and the ‘article,’ such as it is, goes on to explain the provenance of the footage - which has not just yet been traced to their hotel, but a lot of _very_ enthusiastic internet users are working on that - and offer lurid speculation about their current lifestyle. 

The comment section section seems to consist entirely of three species: discussion of the potential whereabouts of the hotel, declaration of what sexual acts either of the two of them would be more than welcome to perform on the commenter, and those crowing about their victory in what has apparently been a long-running debate in the unwashed crevices of the internet about which of the two of them is the ‘top.’ Will turns off the tablet screen, absolutely mortified. 

“There was a _debate_ , about - which of us -”

Hannibal actually smirks, in that subtle way of his. “Oh yes, that has been a popular subject of discussion since my escape from custody, in fact.” 

“What the _fuck_.” 

“Many people on the internet suffer from a deficiency of imagination and an excess of time, Will,” Hannibal points out dryly. 

“I know that academically, but still.” He puts his face in his hands. “So, Japan, then?” 

“Yes. It is actually quite a fortuitous time of year for it; we’ll be in time for the cherry blossoms.”

“Great,” Will sighs, and moves to start packing.


End file.
